and you can’t trust me.
Tonight I received a text message from someone I love dearly, gently informing me that they were both hurt and disappointed in me. Rightfully so. This person is sensitive, just as I am. This is a huge part of how and why we connect so deeply and completely.
[Dear Livejournal…]
This moment was something of a trigger for me. It awakened a part of me that I’d long thought dormant, or conquered. The part of me that for the first half of my twenties, caused harm to myself as a way of coping with emotional pain, or, to be fair, any emotional turmoil that I wasn’t sure how to deal with. It was the first time in about six years that I’d felt an intense desire to damage myself as a means of coping with feelings of negativity. It was in this moment that I realized that I never gave up cutting, I just swapped for cocaine, then fucking, and now drinking…
It just might be time to start learning how to actually cope with life…
Now I can’t sleep and can’t seem to peel myself away from tumblr.
Stupid Stupid Stupid….
I saw a band that completely made me shrug off the godawful mood I was in. I love how powerful music can be sometimes. It can just force a complete head-change or emotional response, often without even using lyrics to do so… awesome.